Monday, May 21, 2012

Not an ordinary day....

I reached into the mailbox, sifting through the bills and junk and saw it, written in pencil in block letters, addressed by her own hand to me, her mama. I started shaking as I made my way up to the house and had to sit down. I immediately took a picture of it to text to her dad. OMG, my hands are shaking sooooo bad! I need to open this but I don't want to mar the envelope that she has touched. I know inside it is just the "form letter" with her address and tentative graduation date but honestly? It was something SHE touched! With tears streaming down my cheeks I slit open the envelop and sat there with it in my hand, not pulling out the letter, just looking at her handwriting, running my finger over my penciled address - she can actually do block letters pretty.

I pull out the letter and its three pages long, front and back with a staple on the upper left corner. She had to fill in my name, her contact address, her graduation date, the graduation password and list her intended guests. I keep wondering why they don't give these poor kids a pen to write with but then I see an erase mark and as a parent understand that you don't want scratches and unprofessional markings on a letter from the Commanding Officer of the US Navy.

Reality is hitting and I burst into tears. She is really gone - doing some "grown up" thing and I won't see her or talk to her until graduation on July 6th!!! I am terrified that they are going to make her into a different person, one who doesn't have her spark of personality, her loving kindness. Then I see it...its just a small note on the side of the form letter and I know that my daughter will always be who she is and the tears of joy and pride start....

I just got a letter from my sweet daughter, it is only 5 words long but it is FROM HER!!! and now I can actually send that stack of cards that I have written every day.


  1. OMG I am crying. How touching is this? Congrats Carrie, you raised her well even though I never met her deep down inside she seems to know you too well. Thank you so much for sharing, Mary M

  2. Oh WoW - can I just say from an ex forces person ( I did just over 9 years in the Royal Air Force) that yes it is life changing for everyone. But because of it I thrived on life and my new found independence. I always struggled to be my own person (yes you can still be that) - it was the best 9 years of my life and I met my hubby of 16 years as hes ex forces too. I know its difficult to let go but she will amaze you. Regards to you, you family and good luck with everything to your daughter.

  3. Carrie - this was very beautifully written. Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us and it's ok to cry. Cry every hour if you have to. It's part of the process. Just know that you'll see her on July 6th and be so proud of her (as if you couldn't be more proud than you already are). Thinking of you. :)

  4. carrie, this was so heartwarming, wrenching,detailed and touching, so well written. I love you so much my friend you are always in my thoughts.

  5. so loving and sweet and now as I cry thinking n 12 years my own daughter could make this choices as well I am reminded that she will always be who she is no matter what. Thanks for sharing this with us this mornig.